Big Brother's House Final Fantasy style
by Kirby777
Summary: The name pretty much explains what happens. R


"This is Rikku outside of the Big Brother House to announce the contestants. This time's first contestant is... Cloud! He was a mercenary who claimed to join first-class in SOLDIER but he just a psychopathic loser.." -Rikku  
  
"HEY! ...Oh. Uh.. Hi guys!" -Cloud  
  
"The next contestant is.... Tifa! Tifa is Cloud's girlfriend wannabe but he doesn't seem to care and she is constantly fighting with Aeris, you know?" -Rikku  
  
"Hello." -Tifa  
  
"Next is, as you might have guessed, Aeris! Aeris is also Cloud's girlfriend wannabe and also fights with Tifa over him." -Rikku  
  
"Hi." -Aeris  
  
"Next is... Sephiroth! Sephiroth is.." -Rikku  
  
"Don't say a thing." -Sephiroth  
  
"Ooookaaaaay... Let's welcome Sephiroth!" -Rikku  
  
"Next we have a mercenary who has serious mental problems because he often passes out and pictures himself in the body of another guy, you know? Please welcome... Squall!" -Rikku  
  
"Excuse me?" -Squall  
  
"What?" -Rikku  
  
"Is Rinoa here?" -Squall  
  
"I can't tell you yet, you know?" -Rikku  
  
"Darn." -Squall  
  
"Next is a big, stupid girl-lover who is constantly hitting on girls. Pleas don't welcome Irvine!" -Rikku  
  
"Hey! Are there any girls here?" -Irvine  
  
"Shut up and get in the #*%$ house! Next we have a girl who has a crush on Squall and somehow earned the powers from a sorceress. Please welcome.. Rinoa!" -Rikku  
  
"Hello, everyone." -Rinoa  
  
"Next is a big, fat jerk who likes to call Squall's friend Zell, chicken- wuss and has a crush on Rinoa." -Rikku  
  
"That's not true!" -Seifer  
  
"Please welcome.. Seifer!" -Rikku  
  
"Uhhhhh.... hi." -Seifer  
  
"Next is someone who is a lot like Irvine in the fact that he also likes girls, he has a crush on a queen of all people and he is a crook. Some will welcome... Zidane!" -Rikku  
  
"Hey, everyone! Is Garnet here yet?" -Zidane  
  
"She's not here yet, you know?" -Rikku  
  
"$&*#@!!!" -Zidane  
  
"Ahem. Next is the queen everyone, especially Zidane, has been waiting for. Please welcome, Queen Garnet til' Alexandros the 17th!" -Rikku  
  
"Hello." -Garnet  
  
"Next is a little boy who doesn't have a face, uses black magic, and is unsure about his fate... Vivi!" -Rikku  
  
"H. Hello." -Vivi  
  
"And last but not least is a man.... is that a woman?" -Rikku  
  
"It's a man." -Producer  
  
"He has a terrible taste in clothing. Anyway, please welcome the ultimately gay guy... Kuja!" -Rikku  
  
Kuja walks in giggling like a girl.  
  
"Hello'o." -Kuja (in the voice of a black girl)  
  
"And there you have it folks! The contestants are in the Big Brother House and who will win? You won't know until the end, you know?" -Rikku  
  
The contestants are in the living room talking.  
  
"Hey, Tifa. Did I ever mention how nice you look?" -Irvine  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact. You told me 2 minutes ago." -Tifa  
  
Aeris is flirting at Cloud.  
  
"Cloud?" -Aeris  
  
"What?" -Cloud  
  
"Do you want to go swimming?" -Aeris  
  
"When Tifa wants to." -Cloud  
  
"Forget about that little @#^&$ for a while." -Aeris  
  
"Excuse me?" -Tifa  
  
"(gasp) What?" -Aeris  
  
"What did you call me?" -Tifa  
  
"Ummmm.." -Aeris  
  
The speakers turn on.  
  
"Can I have your attention please?" -Big Bro  
  
"YES!" -everyone  
  
"You all know the rules right?" -Big Bro  
  
"Yes." -everyone  
  
"Good. Now let's decide on what the first event will be that decides your budget." -Big Bro  
  
Everyone heres a dice block hit something.  
  
"2. So today's game will be soccer." -Big Bro  
  
A map appears on the wall.  
  
"Oooooooooooooooo." -housemates  
  
"Please follow the directions on the map to the soccer field."  
  
Housemates get to soccer field.  
  
"Everyone who makes a shot from 30 yards will add 1,000 gil to your budget. Now, start." -Big Bro  
  
Cloud takes the ball, shoots it, and misses barely.  
  
Tifa takes the ball, shoots, and it makes a hole in the net.  
  
"YAY!" -Tifa  
  
Aeris takes the ball, shoots, and it only goes 10 feet.  
  
"#*@$!" -Aeris  
  
Sephiroth takes the ball, shoots, it goes in.  
  
"Hmph." -Sephiroth  
  
Squall takes the ball, shoots, it misses.  
  
"It's okay Squall." -Rinoa  
  
Irvine takes the ball, shoots, it hits the wall behind the goal, comes back, hits him in the head, and he falls down unconscious.  
  
"Ooooooo," -everyone except Irvine  
  
Rinoa takes the ball, shoots, and it hits the wall again and comes back and hits Irvine who is trying to get up.  
  
"Oops." -Rinoa  
  
Seifer takes the ball, shoots, sends a fire ball at it, it hits the ball, and it goes in.  
  
Zidane takes the ball, shoots, hits the wall, and it comes back and hits Garnet.  
  
"Uh oh." -Zidane  
  
Vivi's turn because Garnet is currently unconscious. He takes the ball, shoots, it goes toward the goal, but stops 2 feet away. Then he casts fire on it and it goes in.  
  
"HA!" -Vivi  
  
"Nice one!" -Tifa  
  
Garnet's turn. She picks up the ball, throws it up in the air, it comes down and she hits it with her racket, ti goes in the goal, comes back and hits Zidane and bounces off his head and hit Irvine who was trying to get up again.  
  
Kuja's turn. He picks up the ball, drop kicks it like a 10 year old girl, and it only goes 5 feet.  
  
"So that decides it." -Big Bro  
  
"We have only 5,000 gil for now." -Garnet  
  
"Sephiroth thinks that Kuja is as wimpy as a girl." -Tifa  
  
"I AM NOT!" -Kuja  
  
"Are too." -Sephiroth  
  
"SHUT UP!" -Tifa  
  
"Let's just decide on what we want to buy." -Vivi  
  
"Ummm." -Irvine  
  
"Your head feeling better?" -Aeris  
  
"No." -Irvine  
  
After five hours of deciding what they wanted to buy, they were going to bed. The rest of the week went well except for Irvine, Zidane, and Kuja.  
  
"Aeris, please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
"Okay!" -Aeris  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Tifa because she's trying to take Cloud from me, and Kuja because he's gay." -Aeris  
  
"Cloud, please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Kuja 'cause he's gay and, Sephiroth 'cause he's cooler than me." -Cloud  
  
"Garnet, please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Zidane 'cause he won't leave me alone and, Kuja.." -Garnet  
  
"'Cause he's gay?" -Big Bro  
  
"Yes!" -Garnet  
  
"Irvine, please come to the diary room."  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Zidane 'cause he's trying to take all the girls and, Kuja 'cause he's." -Irvine  
  
"Gay?" -Big Bro  
  
"Yep." -Irvine  
  
"Kuja, please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Zidane and Irvine 'cause they're perverts."  
  
"Will Rinoa please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Zidane because he bugs me and Kuja 'cause he's gay." -Rinoa  
  
"Seifer, please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Squall 'cause I hate him, and Kuja.." -Seifer  
  
"'Cause he's gay. Thank you Seifer." -Big Bro  
  
"How'd you know?" -Seifer  
  
"That's what everyone's voting." -Big Bro  
  
"Bye." -Seifer  
  
"Will Sephiroth please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Aeris 'cause she's dead ,and." -Sephiroth  
  
"Kuja 'cause he's gay." -Big Bro  
  
"Exactly." -Sephiroth  
  
"Well, I think I know who's going first."  
  
"See ya." -Sephiroth  
  
"Will Squall please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Irvine 'cause he's trying to take Rinoa.." -Squall  
  
"And Kuja 'cause he's gay. Thank you, Squall. You can go now." -Big Bro  
  
"'Kay.'  
  
"Will Vivi please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Umm. Kuja 'cause he's gay, and Sephiroth 'cause he's scary." -Vivi  
  
"Will Zidane please come to the diary room." -Big Bro  
  
In the diary room.  
  
"Who would you like to evict and why?"  
  
"Irvine 'cause he's trying to take the girls and.." -Zidane  
  
"Kuja 'cause he's gay."  
  
"YOU FORGOT ME!" -Tifa  
  
"Oops. Come to the diary room then." -Big Bro  
  
"I'm in here already." -Tifa  
  
"Oh. Who do you want to evict and why?"  
  
"Kuja 'cause he's gay ,and Aeris 'cause she wants Cloud."  
  
"All housemates, please proceed to the living room." -Big Bro  
  
"Okay." -housemates  
  
"Tonight for eviction is Kuja and Zidane  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" -Kuja and Zidane  
  
In about two hours.  
  
"This is Rikku at the Big Brother House. Who will be the first to go? We're about to find out!" -Rikku  
  
"The first to leave the house is..... Kuja. Please gather your things and proceed to the door." -Big Bro  
  
"#*@*$ @*#$*# @*#$*#@* $*@*#!!" -Kuja  
  
"NO BAD LANGUAGE!!" -Big Bro  
  
  
  
I don't own anything to do with this stuff. (except for the fact that I have FF7) But I don't own Square or anything else of Final Fantasy. 


End file.
